Being dependent is an aspect of the child archetype. You have a child archetype as do we all, and this archetype takes different aspects depending on your individual biography and your responses to life’s experiences. Today I want to focus on how this archetype can show up in your work life and your business.
The child archetype in its stressed state feels dependent, uncertain, overwhelmed, at times confused. The world seems big, perhaps dangerous, more than she or he can deal with. The child really wants someone else, or something else to take care of things, to be the parent/boss/guardian. I know I can get this way when I’m tired, moving into new territory, or trying to do too many things on my own. Things get blurry and resentful, and I just want someone or something else to be in charge. Perhaps you can relate?
The thing is that most of this is unconscious so you aren’t even aware it’s happening. I mean not aware in the sense of realizing that an archetypal pattern is activated and you are living in a story that’s larger than life, and that there’s a script here that begins to write you if you don’t become more aware.
And the child in its stressed state can seek out and become dependent on seemingly more powerful others in an attempt to become safe and protected. The tricky part is being connected with others, creating partnerships–whether in life or in business–is satisfying and rewarding. And being aware of when you are being dependent in your child or not is not always clear.
Last night my husband and I were reflecting on the number of things that have been lining up for us one after the other in the last 8 weeks. So much energy has been moving, so many opportunities have been appearing, and so much prosperity has been coming in. It’s really quite remarkable. I said to him, “I think it’s because we stopped being dependent on [his last major client].”
Even though we both knew we’d been dependent, this was still like a new revelation. Because certainly in my mind I hadn’t fully realized how much I was unconsciously relying on, dependent upon, his work with that client. In fact that inner dependency was like a container for my energy. And when our daughter was small, and I wanted to spend more time with her, that container was welcome because it supported our family life. But once she got to be bigger, and I was stretching out, that container held me back, only I didn’t fully realize it. I just knew I felt frustrated with trying to “get bigger” and feeling like I was hitting a wall.
Now there were many pieces that came together for me when that container disappeared over night. Pieces that had been longing to come together for a long time that I won’t go into here. Nonetheless, that dependency undermined my best ability to move forward–to “grow up” if you will, because it was keeping the child archetype within me activated. When that client left, the mother in me, as well as the grown woman, and the business woman, took over. And together these parts of myself moved forward into self expression and self actualization, rather than seeking someone or something to be dependent on. And it was the best thing that’s happened in a long time.
So what are you dependent on? What are you relying on as a seemingly safe container that is actually holding you back from fully growing up, fully expressing yourself? Is it a job? The chance of getting a certain kind of job or client? A relationship? A business or business partner? A way of thinking about yourself or your practice? What could you let go of that would free up your energy and challenge you to truly step forward into your life? Because you will be SO glad when you do. You’ll be amazed. Make sure to tell me about it, okay?
{ 0 comments… add one now }