I have been so excited to be focusing on writing a book lately, interviewing clients, asking for input on my e-course (which I’m expanding), and reading through books that have influenced me. I signed up for Write-A-Book-in-a-Weekend last June, then scheduled it for this weekend. (Yes, there’s a program for that with Donna Kozik, www.writewithdonna.com.) I was prepared and ready to go, though I knew I would need more time because I also was scheduled in mentorship day with Shiloh McCloud and Sue Sellers. Even so, I’ve been looking forward to this and set aside time on Thursday and Friday, too.
And I did write on Thursday—amidst emails with joint venture partners, clients, and other parents; making sure the bills were paid; and setting up a preview call for an upcoming course in Awakening Your Light Body; and, and, and, small things, but they add up. I figured I still have two full days to write.
Then Emma came home with a fever of 103 degrees Thursday afternoon. I spent that evening, the middle of the night and the whole next day tending to my girl’s needs. And by Saturday morning, after 18 hours of high fever she woke up humming and cool. Off I went to my mentoring program and painted all day—ahhhh! AND at the end, Shiloh presented us with an assignment: ask yourself 5-10 questions a day that will help you improve your life. And if you don’t do them, take notice that you don’t, and ask why—no guilt, shame or judgment, just why, for self knowledge.
So today, as my husband came down with the flu, too, and I tried to write and could and couldn’t, I asked myself my 5 questions.
- How and why did I attract the situation that made it not possible for me to focus and write the way that I wanted and intended to?
- What am I not aware of inside of me that helped create this situation?
As a mother I have chosen repeatedly to prioritize my daughter’s needs over my own, especially when it’s been a matter of illness. And I still do that. And I also still ask of myself ~ what is this situation about for me? (No specific answer yet.)
- How can I be committed to my intentions and still be flexible when circumstances “beyond my control” present themselves?
Go back to them as soon as possible. Find ways to move my energy so that my disappointment and irritation do not get the better of me—and do not flow out onto other people.
- Are there times in which flexibility becomes an excuse for not being focused? (ouch)
Yes. Sometimes it’s because I actually do need a break. Sometimes it’s because I’m scattered, and I use flexibility as a cover for it.
- What am I most committed to and why?
In the end, it’s awareness and acceptance. I am committed to being aware of what I’m being and doing, without judging it, but actually witnessing it. And that’s my self acceptance, witnessing myself. And with that, getting the book done this weekend or not is irrelevant. And I’m still committed, so stay tuned!
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