Jennifer Louden has made a Declaration of Freedom from Self Improvement: “When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to dissolve the emotional, physical and spiritual bonds that have connected us to struggle, self-doubt, self-judgment and lack of self-trust through a pernicious intent to improve upon ourselves.” Read and sign the declaration.
And Adyashanti says: what if you were to just stop all of your spiritual seeking? What if you were to just be in this moment, going nowhere, changing nothing, improving nothing? Just being; in this moment.
When I first began learning about and working with core limiting beliefs—and actually it was a process that unfolded over several years—I realized an underlying belief that I had: I am not enough. And of course it spun out from there—I am not enough, you are not enough, we are not enough, there is not enough for me, for you, for us, for my child, for our planet, and so on. My own personal expression of scarcity. Personal, because personally experienced and nuanced, and yet also a mass thought form. Certainly I am not the only one who believes this thought and has it running in their unconscious. It is piped out all around us, motivates advertising, how we understand economics, and even our environmental movement. There is not enough. This belief underlies Western Culture. Egad.
“Not-enoughness” can lead to the hamster wheel of achievement. First I did that as an academic—finished my PhD, got a job at an Ivy League university, published a book and a series of articles in less than three years, etc. All great stuff actually when I look back on it. (I learned happily recently that my book [published in 1997] is still regularly sited by people in my field, and is required reading for PhD exams—that’s cool given that books usually have a shelf life of about a year, maybe.) And it was driven by this underlying belief that I wasn’t even aware of. So great stuff can come out of ways of compensating for limiting beliefs for sure.
And when later I became a spiritual practitioner, I did go at it with an intensity and determination that, well, was at times another hamster wheel. And I see this in clients sometimes—relentless self examination that is truly exhausting, and often motivated by deep fear. Fear of isolation, rejection, abandonment: if I just change, improve, evolve, this and this and this and this about myself I will be safe, loved, cared for, a part of the tribe. I will be safe. I will be safe. I will be safe.
That is a dangerous story. Dangerous and untrue. For true safety can never come from outside approval, which is always subject to change and typically fickle.
Let’s jump off the hamster wheel into the arms of self-acceptance. What if you were to treat yourself with more tenderness? What if you were to treat yourself like someone you actually loved? What if you were to acknowledge and appreciate a little something about yourself? What if you just went for a walk in the sunshine and let the warmth and the light wash over you? What if you just had the intention of Just Being; in this moment?
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